Question: “My newborn is just such a snuggle bug. He loves being held and I love holding him! But, I’ve heard that holding newborns too much can spoil them. Is that true?”
As an Amazon Affiliate, I may receive a commission, at no additional cost to you, if you use one of the provided Amazon links. All opinions shared are my own. You can review my full privacy policy here. Thank you for supporting Parenting on a Rollercoaster through your purchases.
Kick the Old Wives to the Curb
Holding newborns. There’s something so magical about that. They’re so tiny and compact, like little tree frogs snuggled close on your chest. They’re content to be there and you’re content to have them there.
The only thing to mar the magic is a pesky thought in the back of your mind. The thought keeps coming that somehow you’re spoiling your baby by holding them so much. You’re certain you’ve heard that holding them often while a newborn makes it harder for them to sleep alone when they’re older babies. Or that once you start consistently holding your newborn, your newborn will never be content to be laid down as they grow.
These thoughts fly through your mind and you reluctantly put baby down. Your happy bubble with newborn snuggles bursts.
Does this sound like you? Have you experienced something similar? If so, let’s take a few minutes to talk about it and get the magic of newborn snuggles back.
To get right to the point: these thoughts (and a multitude of variations) are old wives tales. They’re tall tales. They’re old-school. They’re no longer pillars of child-rearing philosophy. So, do yourself a favor and kick them to the curb.
Now, let’s start fresh.
Why You Can’t Spoil Your Newborn by Holding Them
According to “Happiest Baby on the Block”, the human baby is born “premature” compared to other mammals. Other mammals literally hit the ground running when they’re born. For example: they can stand hours if not minutes after birth. Even other primates can hold their heads up and hold themselves onto their parent. Humans, however, have to be born “premature” due to the size of our heads/brains. As such, human babies still need all the holding, cuddling and closeness that they would have felt in the womb. They are still soothed by hearing mama‘s heart beat. They want to be swaddled and rocked. And they *don’t* want to be put down (Karp, 2003, p 8).
That isn’t being spoiled. It’s being a tiny, still developing baby.
When you hold your baby often during the first several months of their life, you’re returning them to a familiar state where they feel safe.
You’ll notice that when baby turns about three months old, they’re able to start doing some of what their mammal counterparts can do at birth: stay awake for longer stretches of time, move their hands and legs at will, track movements with their eyes, start to roll, and by four months, can start on solid foods. Your little newborn just needs another “trimester” to get there. And holding them is just what they need.
The bottom line is this: your baby needs to be held and held often. So embrace the magic. Snuggle your little human tree frog. Keep them close and rest assured that baby is far from spoiled.
PS If you’re looking for more info about newborns, check out “Newborn On Deck! My Quick Preparatory Review Of The Fourth Trimester”.
Happy Parenting!
Briana xoxoxo
As an Amazon Affiliate, I may receive a commission, at no additional cost to you, if you use one of the provided Amazon links. All opinions shared are my own. You can review my full privacy policy here. Thank you for supporting Parenting on a Rollercoaster through your purchases.
